Childhood Dreams Of Spandex - The Wrestler (2008)

I remember my first P.P.V. (Pay-Per-View) well. 24th of January, 1993. WWF Royal Rumble 1993. (Now the WWE because of some panda loving assholes.) Bret “Hitman" Hart, the only man able to wear bright pink wrestling attire, retained the WWF Championship against heel Razor Ramon. "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels, the man I base all my dance moves on, defended his WWF Intercontinental Championship by thrashing his former tag team partner Marty Jannety and Yokozuna overpowered twenty nine other men to win the 1993 Royal Rumble match. Wrestling, both amateur and professional, was part of my childhood, and embarrassingly, still part of my life. So when a film by Darren Aronofsky called The Wrestler was first in development, I knew I would be interested.Randy "The Ram" Robinson (Mickey Rourke) is an aging professional wrestler who headlined in the 80's. Now, past his prime, he works his way through the independent circuit and also working at a supermarket. When the opportunity of a life time arises, a 20th anniversary re-match against Randy's most notable opponent the Ayatollah (Ernest Miller) he cant refuse.

Estranged from his daughter Stephanie (Evan Rachel Wood, Stephanie could possibly be a reference to WWE owner Vince McMahon's daughter) and unable to sustain any real relationships, Randy lives for the thrill of the show and the adoration of his fans. However, a heart attack forces him into retirement. As his sense of identity starts to slip away, he begins to evaluate the state of his life - trying to reconnect with his daughter, and striking up a blossoming romance with an exotic dancer called Cassidy (Marisa Tomei) who is ready to start a new life. Yet all this cannot compare to the allure of the ring and passion for his art, which threatens to pull Randy "The Ram" back into his world of wrestling.

The Wrestler has many points of interest in it to attract fans of both cinema and wrestling. It was Mickey Rourke's first major role in good few years. The whole film is a wet dream for students, actors and artist giving their artwork for free, hardly any budget, a tiny 35 day shooting schedule and then to get a masterpiece at the end of the day, winning and being nominated for a number of awards is just perfect for such a small film.

For the wrestlers, Micky Rourke was trained by WWE Hall of Famer Afa Anoa'i (Former tag team member of The Wild Samoans) a legendary trainer for his own company and the WWE. Anoa'i commented on Rourke's performance as being as better than eighty percent of the wrestlers wrestling in the WWE today.

All of the wrestlers used in the film were in companies such as CZW, ROH and the NWA. No stuntmen were used for both the wrestlers and Rourke. Most notably of all the wrestlers is Dylan Keith Summers or Necro Butcher as he is known. He fought Rourke in the CZW arena. (The match with all the thumb tacks and staple gun.) He is an extreme wrestler who is well known for his willingness to participate in creative situations. The prosthetic leg scene is from a ECW show were a fan repeatedly asked someone to use his leg, so Tommy Dreamer used it against his opponent Test.

The main point were wrestling fans could relate too is to is how many wrestlers seemed to follow down the same road that Randy did. Lose of family connections (Usually wrestlers would be on the road for three hundred and sixty-five days a year.) drug use (Being involved in a competitive sport were appearance is always crucial.) The whole story seems very similar to wrestler Jake “The Snake” Roberts.

The Wrestler is full of guts and glory shots for old warhorses too love. It’ll bring masculine tears to the hardest of men if you can relate well with the story. It puts a submission hold on the heart, and doesn’t let go. We shall just have to see what Mickey Rourke's involvement at Wrestlemania 25, the grandest sports event of the year.

"The only place I get hurt is out there. The world don't give a shit about me."

For the Trailer - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTlQmqjBkRs

A Film That Gets My Intell-o-gence - Elf (2003)

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, and as usual, I have gone into my seasonal phase and have begun watching Christmas films. Last night I watched one of my modern favourites, eventually it will become one of the great Christmas classics, maybe not as big as Frank Capra’s It's A Wonderful Life, Brian Hurst's Scrooge and for me John McTiernan’s Die Hard, but it will definitely be up there at one point. It’s the hilarious and heart warming Elf from Jon Favreau. Elf begins with Papa Elf (Bob Newhart) telling the audience a story of how a human baby managed to sneak its way back from an Orphanage in America to the North Pole, Santa (Edward Asner) being a sucker for kids decides to keep the child and calls him Buddy. Papa Elf now becomes his father.

Buddy, (Will Ferrell) grows up with the elves and realises that his skills of being an elf are not as up to standard as the others, also realises that he's 6ft tall and had a beard since he was fifteen. So eventually Papa Elf and Santa tell Buddy that he is a human from New York and his mother, Susan, died after he was born and his father Walter Hobbs (James Caan) didn't even know he was born. Unfortunately, Walter is also on the naughty list. So, Buddy leaves the North Pole, passing the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops and finally through the Lincoln Tunnel to meet his father.

New York seems to be too much fun for Buddy. He discovers free gum on the hand rails, the world’s best cup of coffee and fun to be had with revolving doors. He finds his dad working in the Empire State building as a children’s publisher and announces his existence. After been thrown out, Buddy heads to Gimbels Department store which is meant to be like the North Pole.

After being mistaking as an employee of the toy department, Buddy meets Jovie (Played by the beautiful Zooey Deschanel) and falls for her due to her passion for elf culture. It is then announced that Santa is coming to the store, Buddy presuming it is the real Santa gets excited and starts decorating the store at night. When Santa does arrive the next day, Buddy realises he is a fake and they have a fight around the store resulting in Buddy being arrested.Walter retrieves Buddy from jail, after getting a card from him that includes a picture of Walter and Susan, and learns through a paternity test that Buddy is indeed Walter's son. He invites him home to stay with his family, wife Emily (Mary Steenburgen) and son Michael (Daniel Tay). Buddy meets up with Michael after school the next day were he tries to befriend his half-brother. After defending Michael in a snowball fight they become friends and head back to Gimbels were Buddy asks Jovie on a date.

Buddy takes Jovie out all over New York, he buys her the worlds best cup of coffee, tries to get her to play in revolving doors and finally the pair go ice skating at the Rockefeller centre were they share a kiss. Buddy excitedly tries to tell Walter of his date, but barges in on a Christmas Eve meeting between Walter and a famous children's author and a little person, Miles Finch (Peter Dinklage) as a last attempt to get a successful book out before Christmas.

Buddy mistakes Miles as a fellow elf, and causes Miles to walk out on Walter. Walter tells Buddy to get out of his life forever, causing Buddy to run away. Michael returns home to finds Buddy's farewell message, and runs to tell his dad what happened. Walter realizes what he has done, and promptly leaves in the middle of an important meeting with his boss to go find Buddy, resulting in him being fired.

Buddy, while walking over the Brooklyn Bridge (In a similar scene in It's A Wonderful Life) hears Santa's sleigh falling to the ground in Central Park. After finding him, Santa explains that he needs people to believe that he exists for his sleigh to fly again before the New York Central Park Rangers, rangers mounted on horse back known for their forceful tactics, get to Santa. Walter and Michael find Buddy and Santa in the park and help him out by distracting the rangers and making the people believe in Santa from help from Jovie.

The plan is a success and Santa is able to deliver his presents. Walter creates his own publishing company and writes a 'fictional' story called 'Elf' and Buddy and Jovie get married and have a kid together. Awww!!

Elf is made so successful from three elements, the acting, the soundtrack and the story. Ferrell is a great comic, movement actor (Maybe not in everything but defiantly in this.) who acts so simply it creates such a lovable, warm character. He stupid, don't get me wrong, but really lovable and contrast so well with Caan's stern, Scrooge like character. Daschanel's support brings heat to the story also. (Not in a sexy way, I know its me but grow up lads...okay she is stunning too but that is a given! I'll put a picture at the bottom of the blog!) The only part of the acting I really cringe at however is Steenburgen's horrific singing!! Tone deaf!!

The soundtrack will be something that makes this film a classic one day. As well as using Christmas songs such as Baby,It's Cold Outside and Sleigh Ride it uses the biggies such as one of my favorite Sanatra songs You Make Me Feel So Young. Also, Daschanel also sings beautifully in the film a few times, in one scene in the shower with Ferrell outside!

Elf is a heart warming comedy that will make any hardcore bastard feel warm and fuzzy inside. Get out there and watch it as soon as possible!! Even if its for this beautiful set of eyes!

"You smell like beef and cheese, you don't smell like Santa."

For Ferrell & Daschanel's Version of Baby It's Cold Outside - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=X9re6CQZGFw

For the trailer - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=pvtmsqyOkhc

It's All Too Familiar - How To Tell When A Relationship Is Over (2003)

Shorts films and ‘mini-masterpieces’ are becoming quite popular with me at the moment as I have previously written, so I thought for a change I would talk about one that we all saw and I enjoyed for its simple, clever humour. A ninety second feature created by Tony Roche called How To Tell When A Relationship Is Over.

When every relationship is coming to a dreadful end, there are some simple tell-tale signs and How To Tell When A Relationship Is Over portrays them. The film shows Roche’s seven different observations of how what happens to relationships at the bitter end.

1.You Find The Other Person Annoying.
2.You Get A List Of All Your Faults.
3.You Try To Get The Magic Back.
4.Some Things Don’t Seem To Make Sense.
5.You Find A Dead Pigeon.
6.You Feel Like You’re In A French Film.
7.The Other Person Isn’t There Anymore.

The scenario is simple – a static shot of two people at a kitchen table portraying there final stages of there relationship in about five to fifteen seconds.

The script and simple acting are the thing that brings this simple short to life. First of all, Julian Barratt, who plays 'Him' in the short, is just acting like himself, a trying, push over, gets his quite character just right, questioning his soon to be ex to why she is kissing another man, apparently its a gay thing...??? The script is simple, taking a familiar topic, with its seven easy opinions on the topic and twisting them into opposite, quick, comic humour.

The film was apparently made in a day in Roche's kitchen, with a budget of £40 and has won a few awards around the world. Its so simple and easy to do! It has annoyed me that I have not been writting in this style for such a long time, so it's back to the drawing board to try and write short.

“Boy Meets Girl. Boy Gets Girl. Girl Gets Sick Of Boy. Boy Gets Sick Of Girl. Big Fight. The End.”

For The Short Film - www.bbc.co.uk/dna/filmnetwork/A9370028

Who Wears Short Shorts?

Something today clicked for me. I'm not sure what it is because my mind is like mine field of rubber ducks and fruit salads sweeties but whatever my lecturers think, I do listen in classes and take a exceptional amount of interest. Anyway, the idea of short films, and esspecially the ninety second mini-masterpieces, started to interest me today. The mini's used to be something I used to write a lot of and have a large interest in, however, then I got put of the idea all together, dunno why...just did!

Anyway, my interest is back and I thought I'd post a few links for a good couple of shorts.

Bad Luck For Bob (And Other Stories) - www.bbc.co.uk/dna/filmnetwork/A5888956

Breif Encounters - www.bbc.co.uk/dna/filmnetwork/A5549466

Enjoy The Film - www.bbc.co.uk/dna/filmnetwork/A5319795

Gash - www.bbc.co.uk/dna/filmnetwork/A10635761

Chrysanthemums The Word - www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2LJvMfNXQ0

Please Do Not Put Any Ducks Into This Chute - www.bbc.co.uk/dna/filmnetwork/A5224899

What? This Isn't True! I Didn't Write This! - Perfect Blue (1997)

Animation is something that we can all relate to. Be it a young girl becoming lost in an imaginary fantasy land in Lewis Carrol’s Alice In Wonderland or Neo-Tokyo being over run by biker gangs and a revolution in Katsuhiro Otomo’s Akira. I can always remember watching the traditional Disney films, plus our family was lucky enough to have a free version of cable television so I was able to watch Cartoon Network. However when I was also reasonably young I remember finding out that animation was also for adults as well in the source of Manga. One of the first films I remember watching was the bewildering Satoshi Kon’s Perfect Blue.

The film is quite hard to explain so I shall do my best. Perfect Blue is a psychological thriller that tells the story about Mima Kirigoe, a pop idol in the Japanese pop sensation CHAM! It tells the story of how Mima leaves the pop group to become an actress in a drama called Double Blind. Mima becomes aware of a website, "Mima's Room", that seems to be dictating her life.

While working on Double Blind, Mima's manager Rumi, who is against her move to television work, manages to get her a bigger role in the production. However the role given to her is a rape scene. Rumi is against it however Mima agrees to do it. However afterward she realises that she didn't enjoy the scene at all. The scene is similar to one in Darren Aronofsky's Requiem For A Dream, Mima is clutching herself in the bath and screaming.

Matters take a dramatic turn when several of those who had forced unsavory work on her are gruesomely murdered. She finds evidence which makes her appear to be the prime suspect, and in addition she can't in fact recall if she had committed any of the killings or not.

It turns out that the diarist of "Mima's Room" is herself totally delusional and very manipulative, and that an intense folie à deux has been in play. The faux diarist, who believes herself to be a Mima who is forever young and graceful, has made a cat's-paw and serial killer of the stalker Me-Mania.

Mima smashes Me-Mania with a hammer in self-defense when he attempts to rape her, and runs to her only support she has left alive, her manager Rumi - only to find that Rumi is the false diarist, who believes she is the "real" Mima. She manages to incapacitate Rumi in self-defense after a chilling chase through the city despite being wounded herself. A year later and Rumi is in a mental hospital and Mima has managed to move on with her life.

The first time I watched Perfect Blue I was nine, and didn’t get the film at all. However I was just amazed that animation was not only for kids, and could be full of actual gratuitous sex and violence. Six years later, I had completely forgotten the film existed until one night I was watching the SciFi channel and realised that I had seen this film somewhere before but couldn’t place it where. So I went out and bought it on video and was entertained again and again.

It’s the sort of film that if Alfred Hitchcock and Walt Disney would conger up if they had ever worked together. It is a psychological nightmare that may mess some of you up the first time you watch. It’s a great step for those who have never watched any other form of animation other that children’s animation. Especially for those of you who liked messed up stories and something a little challenging.

"Excuse Me...Who Are You?"

For the trailer - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=49J31oHQAtg

Achtung, Baby! - The Producers (1968)

I am the author. You are the audience. I outrank you! In my many years of working in the theatre, be it behind the scenes or on the front lines, it is not the first time I have heard someone say that, in fact I may have said it once or twice myself! Anyway, from what I have learned from the theatre is that any poorly written piece of work can be made into a spectacle made for many, even Broadway and no other person got it right for film than the undisputed champion of modern comedy, Mel Brooks with his first directed masterpiece, The Producers.

Max Bialystock (Zero Mostel) is a failed, aging Broadway producer who ekes out a living romancing rich old women (Hey, when your down on your luck who wouldn't...just me then...) in exchange for money for his *wink wink* next play *wink wink.* Timid, mousy accountant Leo Bloom (Gene Wilder) visits him to try and sort out his accounts for him. Leo discovers that you could make more money from a flop than a successful production and the duo go to work looking for the the next worse thing.

After an extensive search the duo find an unproduced play worthy of their efforts: Springtime For Hitler: A Gay Romp with Adolf and Eva at Berchtesgaden written by Franz Liebkind (Kenneth Mars). After achieving the rights of the play, Max launches into little old lady land to collect his chequeies, he hires his new "toy" Ulla (Lee Meredith), a Swedish blonde (Enough said), a eccentric gay theatre director Roger De Bris (Christoper Hewett) to direct his flop, and the part of Hilter goes to psychedelic hippie Lorenzo St. Dubois (Dick Shawn) also known as LSD.

The play goes to Broadway, and unfortunately for Max and Leo its a hit! Opening, upbeat song Springtime For Hitler doesn't do to well however LSD's hilarious performance of Hitler wins the audience over. In desperation, Max, Leo and the outraged Franz decided to blow up the theatre, however the plan backfires and the trio are caught and found "incredibly guilty." They are sent to prison, were they continue to produce Prisoners Of Love, and do the exact same scam as before.

The film is a pure comedy delight, Mel Brooks' writing style is fantastic, its witty and silly. The jokes come from both the comic writing and fantastic performances by all the cast, they all ham it up perfectly. The musical number is well choreographed and the soundtrack is great.

The Producers is now a huge Broadway hit (Really), it ran on Broadway from 2001 to 2005 and won twelve Tony Awards. The Broadway production was a musical number which Mel Brooks is trying to do with all his films now. In 2005 a remake of the theatre production was created for cinema starring Nathan Lane, Matthew Broderick and Uma Thurman.

In season four of Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm, Mel Brooks asks Larry to star as Max Bailystock alongside David Schwimmer as Leo Bloom, originally meant to be Ben Stiller but you know what Larry is like! Some of the production is also shown in the final episode.

If your not a fan of the theatre, do not be put off, its nothing like watching a flop on stage. Its outright broad comedy and silliness that Mel Brooks is a master of, and everybody should enjoy.

"Hollywood Never Faced A Zanier Zero Hour!"

For the trailer - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Lb9-6oQz9vI

A True Gentleman – Richard Attenborough (2008)

I just want to compose some thoughts and feelings from today’s visit by Richard Attenborough while they are still fresh in my mind. Anyone who wants to laugh at me for expressing myself and sounding like an Italian sap, may laugh away.

Silence entered the Chandler Studio as Andy led the inspiration into the studio, as soon as some one saw Lord Attenborough enter, the room turning into a great respectful applause. As I looked at him with intriguing eyes, I knew I was in for a treat.

The way the man spoke and the stories he told were absolutely riveting, I was holding on to every one of his words. I was laughing, swelling up, captivated, typical Italian right here! However, it was true, I’ve never been so inspired to work in the industry.

When the lights rose and we stood up to leave I had a lump of respect in my throat and admiration in my eyes. Mick said it perfectly,

"He's a true gentleman. What a gentleman."

Enough said, it was a perfect quote, and most of us were thinking it. He is such an inspiration, to obviously be so in love with the industry and also, and probably more importantly, life. He is probably one of the only men to speak so wonderfully to make even me, the loud mouth son-of-a-gun, shut up for over an hour (If he was able to keep going for weeks I would be the same) and sit on the edge of my seat in awe and respect. Truly a lovely man.

I want to say thank you to Andy and the rest of the team for arranging the visits we have had this week, and to keep them going.

The Best There Is, Best There Was, Best There Ever Will Be!

Ah, no one will get that title reference and if they do, I will give them a well deserved toffee and a salute. Anyway, I was reading some blogs and some people have been talking about their favourite films and I thought to myself, what makes a film suddenly be announced that it is one of the best film ever? I’ve been thinking about this for a long time now and I think the ball started rolling again when I said to the class that Frank Darabont’s The Shawshank Redemption was awful and insisted itself that it was a good film and that Quentin Tarintino’s Pulp Fiction was unrealistic and so so. Everyone looked at me and their jaws dropped.

You can check any film website, Internet Movie Database or American Film Institute, read up any film book or magazine, Sight & Sound or Empire, and they will all have their own versions on what is the best film ever made and usually they all come to the same conclusions, Francis Ford Coppola’s The Godfather, Steven Spielberg’s Raiders Of The Lost Ark, Martin Scorsese’s Raging Bull are just some random examples that always seem to be appearing at the top of the list.

So, why do these films make it high on the list? Is it the carefully constructed storylines, the skillful acting from the actors, the beautiful cinematography or is it the way a film makes such an impression first time it is automatically made some people favourite film without them even watching it. It’s like they just go with the flow.

I personally don’t believe it is on how many views a film has had due to the fact that pornography would probably over pass any film made.

The fact of the matter is, and this is Andrew "Sexy Boy" Lanni telling you this, there is no way to tell what the best film in the world is, either is there a way to determine the best television programme, band, musician, athlete, wrestler, book, magazine etc etc. It is all a matter of opinion, the only thing us humans are allowed to have now a days. So I don’t want someone to shout at me telling me that I’m wrong because, it my opinion...unless it’s Don Siegel’s Dirty Harry. So there!

In Your Endo! - That's My Bush (2001)

A little brake from the films to talk about telly. After the recent election in America, I thought that it was only fair to have one last look at that old, strangely lovably, idiot who was in charge of the United States of America, questionably the worlds most powerful country, for eight years. There is many cartoons, films etc that portray him, but this lost beauty of a comedy series got it just right, made by Trey Parker & Matt Stone, its That's My Bush, absolutely no pun intended...seriously!
The entire series centres on the fictitious personal life of lovably oaf George W. Bush, as played by Timothy Bottoms, who looks pretty much like him and also plays him in many different American shows after That's My Bush. The show itself is a lampoon of classic American sitcoms, with characters such as loving wife, Linda Bush, klutzy bimbo secretary named really cleverly, or stupidly, Princess, the know-it-all maid Maggie and Bush's agony uncle, but not really his uncle, wacky next-door neighbor Larry.

Parker & Stone waited three months to see if the show would be called That's My Bush or Everybody Loves Al, all depending on who won the election in 2000. The final episode is also called That's My Dick, due to Dick Cheney taking over the White House!

The series covers real topics that the real George W. Bush, attempted and failed, to tackle such as abortion, gun control, drugs and of course the biggie for Bush, oil. Fans expected Parker & Stone to absolutely rip into the Bush administration, however the series is more of a spoof of old American 70's and 80's sitcoms like Jackie Gleason's The Honeymooners, it actually takes the famous line,

"One of these days Alice...bang, zoom! Right to the moon!"

And replaces it with a similar, but more front and forward one,

"One of these days Laura...I'm gonna punch you in the face!"

Ah, entertaining domestic violence in the White House, who would have dreamt of it. The whole series is just a string of well structured gimmicks, slightly toned down from the usually South Park style humour.

However, the series was cancelled after the first series. (Eight episodes) It received a great deal of publicity and was well enjoyed but the series was just far too expensive. To date, it is Comedy Central's most expensive produced sitcom. Also, according to Comedy Central, the series was cancelled because the cost per ratings point was just too expensive. Parker & Stone made the series just to get back to there early roots of creating live action comedy instead of animation.

If you can find it, or want to borrow it from me, give it a go. Its easy, entertaining and its great to laugh at that old Republican fool.

"He stole the election, now he'll steal your hearts!"

For the intro - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=6l-WyTV-kig

Thank God I’m A Man - Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

One day, a long time ago, I was sitting one night in chilly Orkney watching the start of a film with my dear, old mum. It began with a pleasant lullaby and a beautiful wide shot of New York and then it introduced the two main characters who seemed to be a loving and caring young couple. My mother, a woman who is always looking out for me, smiled and went to bed. I thought I was watching an old romantic comedy, something like Blake Edwards’, Breakfast At Tiffany’s. All was well until I realised that lullaby was not made to be comforting, but chilling. I was watching Roman Polanski’s Rosemary’s Baby.

The plot is as follows. Rosemary & Guy Woodhouse, (Mia Farrow & John Cassavetes) a young, newly married couple, move into a new Apartment in New York. They are rudely befriended by elderly nosey neighbours Minnie & Roman Castevet. (Ruth Gordon & Sidney Blackmer) One night when Rosemary falls ill after eating a mousse made by Minnie, she dreams about being raped by some kind of horrible beast. After a time of trying for a baby, Rosemary becomes mysteriously pregnant.

Peculiar things start happening to friends and relatives, one goes blind and one falls into a coma and dies etc. She starts to become suspicious and paranoid and believes that everyone around her is in a Satanic cult that are after her unborn baby. She becomes incredibly frantic and is forcefully sedated before falling into labour. Once she awakes days later, she is told that she had a baby boy. Later she is told that he died. However, Rosemary can hear a crying child. She knows the cult has her baby, so she goes out to get her son.

But the horrible truth proves to be not what the cult plans to do with the baby-but what the baby is. Rosemary's baby is the son of Satan.

The story is an adaptation of an Ira Levin’s novel. I’ve never read the book but from what I’ve been told the film does not a bad job of imitating the novel. Polanski manages to get his main job of manipulating the audience quite well into thinking that Rosemary is just over reacting, like most women. (*THUMP* Smacked by female flatmate)

The lullaby is absolutely spine chilling, it is also sung by Mia Farrow. When it appears at the end with the credits you realise how terrifying it actually is meant to be. The way the film is first portrayed, it makes Rosemary & Guy look like they are straight out of Good Housekeeping magazine. Polanski makes the film look so bright and colourful, yet as events escalade it becomes clear that this is another part of his manipulation for the audience.

Just as a random fact about the film, the location where Rosemary & Guy live is where Mark Chapman shot John Lennon.

I suppose the film questions neighbourly friendliness as suspect and posits that the home might be the most menacing place of all.

I do urge you to watch Rosemary's Baby for the storyline and the manipulation. Unfortunately, it has come to my attention that a remake is in the making for 2009/2010 with possibly the ‘talented’ Jessica Alba and Lindsay Lohan…and even worse, produced by…Michael Bay *Shudder!* Ah, thank God I’m a Man and don’t have to worry about these baby related things.

“Pray for Rosemary's Baby.”

For the trailer - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=uofm2FicbNc

Welcome To The Jungle - Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

Right, so I said I would talk about some films in the Horror genre, so here goes. After today's viewing of Dziga Vertov’s Man With A Movie Camera, I got thinking about what Andy (Could have been Steven...ah, what the hell!) said at the start of the lecture,

"It is like watching a documentary and a piece of drama."

This got me thinking about mockumentaries, Daniel Myrick & Eduardo Sanchez's The Blair Witch Project, Jaume Balaguero & Paco Plaza's [Rec]. All mockumentaries, however, I though about the fact that these films are shite, I really hate The Blair Witch Project as a film! So I thought about the one mockumentary that I love to pieces. One of the most controversial films ever made, Ruggero Deodato's Cannibal Holocaust.

For those of you who have never even heard about this notorious Video Nasty, I will give a quick outline of the plot, however I really want to concentrate on what makes this film so controversial.

Basically, the film is split into two parts. The first part of the film follows A New York anthropologist named Professor Harold Monroe who travels to the wild, inhospitable jungles of South America to find out what happened to a documentary film crew that disappeared while filming a documentary about primitive cannibal tribes. Monroe encounters two tribes, the Yacumo and the Yanomamo. While under the hospitality of the latter tribe, he finds the remains of the crew and several reels of their undeveloped film.

This is were the second part of the film starts. Upon returning to New York, Monroe views the film in detail, featuring the director Alan Yates, his girlfriend Faye Daniels, cameramen Jack Anders and Mark Tomaso. After a few days of travelling, the film details how the crew staged all the footage for their documentary by terrorizing and torturing the natives. Despite Monroe's objections, the television studio, bastards that they all are, still wishes to air the footage as a legitimate documentary. In order to change their minds, Monroe shows the station's executives the film's final reels, so they could see first hand how the crew's fate came to be. It makes for tasty stuff!

I just want to add that Riz Ortolani’s original soundtrack adds to the chilling atmosphere to the film…check it out! (See the end of the review for a sample.)

When Cannibal Holocaust was released on February 7th, 1980, in Milan, the initial reaction was positive from the audience. Most audiences at the time seem to be able to stomach the Video Nasties at the time better than in the coming years. Even director Sergio Leone (The Good, The Bad And The Ugly) wrote a letter to Deodato saying,

"Dear Ruggero, what a movie! The second part is a masterpiece of cinematographic realism, but everything seems so real that I think you will get in trouble with all the world."

Leone was not wrong. Ten days after the release of Cannibal Holocaust it was seized by the Italian courts and Deodato was arrested and charged with Obscenity. That was not the worse of his problems. Later, Deodato was charged again with several counts of murder. The courts believed that several of the actors were killed to make the movie seem real, a snuff film in effect. To make matters worse for Deodato, the actors had signed contracts with him and the producers ensuring that they would not appear in any type of media for one year after the film's release in order to promote the idea that the film was true. Thus, when Deodato claimed that he had not killed the group, questions arose as to why the actors were in no other media if they were alive. Fortunately he was able to get in contact with the actors and the charges were dropped.

Deodato continued to be challenged about Cannibal Holocaust. He had to take the main actors on a television interview to clear his name to the courts however he still had to convince the courts about the special effects of the films, especially the ‘impaling scene’ and the cutting off of Yate’s penis. All the special effects were explained to the courts, with testimonies and photos, however the courts still wanted to ban the film due to the horrific, real, killing of several animals.

In the film, several animals are killed for entertainment. Personally, I don’t condone the killing of anything for the sake of putting bums in seats, but what the hey, it ain’t my film -

• A coatimundi is stabbed multiply times in the neck.
• A large spider is killed with a machette.
• A large snake is killed with a machette.
• Two squirrel monkeys have their faces cut off and their brains are then eaten by the Vietnamese actors who consider the monkey brains to be a delicacy. The reason they used two was because the first time they did it the camera operator did not capture all the acquired shots. (Heads up for camera specialists in the class, get it right or they kill a monkey.
• A pig is kicked and then shot with a rifle.
• A large turtle is decapitated and then really eaten by the actors.

Due to the courts ruling, Deodato, the producers, the screenwriters, United Artists representatives were all given a four month suspension. Deodato did say after sometime that his actions were pretty stupid.

It really is an unbelievable film, it even helped, or not helped, path the way to reality television. Cannibal Holocaust was the first film bold enough to suggest that the stuff we see on the news is every bit as staged as what’s shown in the cinema. Please, I urge you to give it a chance. It is a great part of Italian cinema history. Cannibal Holocaust, once scene, cannot be unseen. Thank Christ for that!

"Better to rest in peace in the warm body of a friend than in the cold ground."

For the trailer - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=lSvq2GE2YCs

For Riz Ortolani’s Cannibal Holocaust theme - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=kf1Vt6r-sj8

Anyone For Spaghetti? - A Fistful of Dollars (1964)

If James Dean was the epitome of cool in the 50s, Clint Eastwood was definitely the epitome of cool in the 60s, and to me the early 70s with Don Siegel’s Dirty Harry. Sergio Leone’s spaghetti western A Fistful of Dollars was one of Eastwood’s first successful leading role films.

First of I’d better explain that spaghetti westerns are westerns made mainly by Italian and Spanish studios. They were also shot mainly in Spain, in the Andalusia region of Spain due to its similar resemblance of the American Southwest. They were usually full of Spanish actors, playing Mexicans, and usually had one or two young American actors in them, like my main man Clint.

The plot is a pretty simple one. Clint Eastwood, known as ‘The Man With No Name’ or ‘Joe’, rides into a town owned by two rivalling families called the Baxter’s and the Rojo’s. Eastwood, being a bounty hunter, realises that he can make a lot of money by playing both families against each other. There are other sub-plots in the film but this is the general jist of the film.

The film is full of Leone’s signature trademarks, extreme close-ups on the actor’s eyes, dynamic use of wide shots and Leone’s obsession for detail, starting with the scenery to the rough faces of the actors. Leone seems to make the film a visual treat for the audience.

The three things that always stick in my mind when think about this film is Ennio Morricone’s (Credited as Don Savio) style of music that added to the grittiness of the film, Leone’s use of extreme close-ups on characters eyes and of course Eastwood’s hard-ass attitude, cigar chomping and .45 firing acting. Common, he's so cool! As soon as he rides into town he walks into a funeral directors shop and asks him to, “Get three coffins ready,” and goes out and takes out four, not three, guys for scaring his horse. He does correct himself, “My mistake. Four coffins…” So cool!
I have always treasured this film more than the sequels For A Few Dollars More and The Good, The Bad And The Ugly. It was one I saw at a young age and always have remembered and enjoyed. I think westerns are something that all boys should watch when growing up. Apparently the film is basically a remake of one of Akira Kurosawa’s films Yojimbo, but I have never seen it to compare. Although I can see how the tales from Japan are easily created in the Old West.

"A Fistful of Dollars is the first motion picture of its kind. It won't be the last."

For the trailer - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=s2ar1OB1LSQ

Hey...Its Me!

Yeah, I know I would talk about a few horror films first, but I though for Andy I would start my reviews by talking about a western! But hey, its me! I change my mind all the time! Anyway, here's a picture of me as a cowboy for fun!

Yee-Haw!!

Where There Is No Imagination There Is No Horror

It is now the 27th of October and I am getting excited about Halloween! I am a very seasonal person; I love Christmas, New Year and especially Halloween.

My fondness for the horror genre comes from a very, very young age when my dear old dad had a collection of video nasties from the 70’s and 80’s hidden away in a cupboard. Being a young, adventurous chap I found them one day and shat myself! However I fell in love with the cover art work. Here is one of the covers I loved from still a film I love by Lucio Fulci, Zombie Flesh Eaters.

I started waking up early to watch some of these nasties, obliviously without permission of my folks. I won’t say what age I was for my folks sake, but let’s say I was far too young and they were definitely a change from watching The Jetsons. I watched six or seven of these films until I woke up one morning to go watch Dario Argento’s Tenebrae. When I was just on the trailers at the start of the tape my father was horrified to see me with a collection of VHS nightmares in front of me.

Needless to say, my dad took all of them to the Red Cross Shop. Now that I think about it, I don’t think the old ladies at the Red Cross Shop would have accepted them with open arms. Maybe it was somewhere else.

Anyway, jump time a good few years and I found both the classics like Terence Fisher’s Dracula and modern horror greats like Ridley Scott’s Alien, George A Romero’s Dawn Of The Dead and John Carpenter’s remake of The Thing.

So anyway the next couple of reviews will be aimed at some of the frightening, bloodcurdling and of course some of the considered ‘shite’ video nasties of the world as well as the some of the more exceptional master pieces. You’ve been warned!